When Life Gives You Lemons
Wow oh wow, this has been a year!
If you haven't been following my blog, Instagram, etc., then you may have no idea what I'm talking about. Well, to sum it all up, this year has been rough. God has been challenging me to grow in multiple ways and truly simplify my lifestyle in what I eat, own, and my life plans. There were times where I truly did not feel God at all. I knew he was there, but I felt very isolated, numb, and alone.
But in this last week alone, I felt God, once again, for the first time in almost 7 months.
About a week and a half ago, I found myself in my mentor's office, bawling my eyes out because I told her I didn't want to teach. I had been feeling this way for the past year, but I was too afraid to actually take the step and think about options. Everything that I had been working for, for the past three years seemed like wasted time since I was now reconsidering everything. I knew that these feelings had been there for a while, but I wasn't trusting God when he tried to tell me last Spring. Well, I felt like I got whacked in the face with a 2x4, but if that was God's way of trying to get my attention on this, I suppose I'll roll with it.
I needed time to think about it all, because changing your major second semester junior year isn't usually the best idea. It took all until Monday night of last week for me to accept the fact that I wasn't going to graduate with Elementary Education. For me, God usually tries to communicate with me through my dreams when I'm asleep and through conversations with others. I'm not going to go into detail, but in my dream last Monday night, God was showing me how to trust him, especially with this big decision.
Trusting God is never easy, let me tell you! I've been able to answer his call in multiple ways in college, which led me to Ireland, Texas, back to Viterbo, and now here. I thought I had my life planned out since freshman year, and now, everything that I have been dreaming about and working towards was out the door. God is a real tricky guy. But when we're unsure, that's when we need to trust God the most.
After everything this year, feelings of doubt, fear and desolation, I am so happy to say I finally feel myself, the Mary Kathryn Ahlberg who was around last summer. I officially switched my major to Educational Studies and I am beyond relieved! I'm not entirely sure what I'm going to do when I graduate next May, but God is wanting me to be okay with the fear of the unknown. So we'll see where he leads me!
I think all year was building up for this moment. Not happy in classes, feeling lost in every aspect of life, doubting everything. But after making this decision, everything I struggled with all makes sense. I am so incredibly happy for this life change and to continue my faith journey with Jesus!
GOD IS SO GOOD, Y'ALL. He always provides and shows you the path! If you're struggling with something, know that it is okay! I know exactly how you feel. It stinks, but know that time will pass, I PROMISE. Keep your faith alive with Christ and keep striving for your life. God will change your heart is so many ways. Just trust him!
I'll be praying for you, friends.
All His Love, Mary Kathryn
~~~
(Link for my Insta is attached to the word "Instagram")
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
If you haven't been following my blog, Instagram, etc., then you may have no idea what I'm talking about. Well, to sum it all up, this year has been rough. God has been challenging me to grow in multiple ways and truly simplify my lifestyle in what I eat, own, and my life plans. There were times where I truly did not feel God at all. I knew he was there, but I felt very isolated, numb, and alone.
But in this last week alone, I felt God, once again, for the first time in almost 7 months.
About a week and a half ago, I found myself in my mentor's office, bawling my eyes out because I told her I didn't want to teach. I had been feeling this way for the past year, but I was too afraid to actually take the step and think about options. Everything that I had been working for, for the past three years seemed like wasted time since I was now reconsidering everything. I knew that these feelings had been there for a while, but I wasn't trusting God when he tried to tell me last Spring. Well, I felt like I got whacked in the face with a 2x4, but if that was God's way of trying to get my attention on this, I suppose I'll roll with it.
I needed time to think about it all, because changing your major second semester junior year isn't usually the best idea. It took all until Monday night of last week for me to accept the fact that I wasn't going to graduate with Elementary Education. For me, God usually tries to communicate with me through my dreams when I'm asleep and through conversations with others. I'm not going to go into detail, but in my dream last Monday night, God was showing me how to trust him, especially with this big decision.
Trusting God is never easy, let me tell you! I've been able to answer his call in multiple ways in college, which led me to Ireland, Texas, back to Viterbo, and now here. I thought I had my life planned out since freshman year, and now, everything that I have been dreaming about and working towards was out the door. God is a real tricky guy. But when we're unsure, that's when we need to trust God the most.
After everything this year, feelings of doubt, fear and desolation, I am so happy to say I finally feel myself, the Mary Kathryn Ahlberg who was around last summer. I officially switched my major to Educational Studies and I am beyond relieved! I'm not entirely sure what I'm going to do when I graduate next May, but God is wanting me to be okay with the fear of the unknown. So we'll see where he leads me!
I think all year was building up for this moment. Not happy in classes, feeling lost in every aspect of life, doubting everything. But after making this decision, everything I struggled with all makes sense. I am so incredibly happy for this life change and to continue my faith journey with Jesus!
GOD IS SO GOOD, Y'ALL. He always provides and shows you the path! If you're struggling with something, know that it is okay! I know exactly how you feel. It stinks, but know that time will pass, I PROMISE. Keep your faith alive with Christ and keep striving for your life. God will change your heart is so many ways. Just trust him!
I'll be praying for you, friends.
All His Love, Mary Kathryn
~~~
(Link for my Insta is attached to the word "Instagram")
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
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