Adulthood and New Transitions
I've been a little MIA lately but since we've last talked, a lot has happened! Between graduation, meeting Noah, moving twice, and finding a job, I feel like I've been thrown all over the place going 100 miles an hour. Between all of the crazy and beautiful life events, I've finally realized that I've been putting my relationship with Christ on the back burner since the beginning of my senior year.
I still go to Mass every weekend, visit the sacraments regularly, pray every now and then, but these things haven't been as intentional as they were a year ago. I think the main reason for this is the distractions and great new life events going on. I never chose to not be intentional but I simply forgot HOW to be intentional.
Lately, I think God's been like "Hey Mary, it's me. God. Remember me? Remember how close we were? Wasn't that great? Wanna do that again?" As casual as that sounds, lately, I've really felt God push on my heart and show me how to desire his love again. The other day, I was contemplating back to the end of my summer in 2017 right when I left The Pines. I had just come off of a tough year but felt so rejuvenated and ready to take on my senior year of college. Right after beginning my final year at Viterbo, things already started to change in so many ways and time was rushing by.
For starters, I began getting into fitness and loving my body. I became a runner (WHAT?) and was super conscious on making healthy choices knowing that food was meant for fuel and not pleasure. I began to really kick my food addiction in the face and realize the benefits of living a healthy lifestyle. Sadly, as the year went on, this lifestyle slowly faded away and I forgot how to be the best version of myself. (Tbh it was definitely because God lead me through this lifestyle change and since I forgot how to talk to God, this was one of the outcomes of that)
During my time at Viterbo, I really struggled with friendships (or lack thereof) and building relationships with others. It was lonely, dark at times, and made me doubt everything. At the beginning of my senior semester, I met the most amazing man of my life. I truly believe God brought Noah and I together at the right time to help me feel important to someone and to be able to build His kingdom with someone at my side. Noah's and my relationship was an instant connection and grew rapidly. I couldn't believe that this man from all the way across the country could truly be the one God had possibly called me to marry. Noah became my biggest cheerleader, best friend, and love of my life. He helped me feel loved, accepted, and wanted. Noah is truly the biggest blessing in my life and I still can't believe that I'm his and he's mine.
During this entire process, finding a job after graduation weighed heavy on my heart, as it does for many college graduates. The process was long, tiring, incredibly stressful, and daunting. After applying for what seemed to be hundreds of jobs, I was exhausted and spent most of my waking hours applying, interviewing, and hoping someone would look at my resume. This process was probably my biggest stressor of the school year.
Finally, just three weeks after saying goodbye to Viterbo and La Crosse, my family and I said goodbye to my childhood home of 20 years in Owatonna, MN. Within 4 hours, our house was packed, moved, and emptied. Nothing is weirder than walking through your home completely emptied, stripped of everything. This process was more emotional than I thought and I didn't realize the impact Owatonna had on me after all of these years.
As you can see, there have been so many changes in my life this past year. All good and exciting, but definitely overwhelming! There is no excuse to why my relationship with Jesus hasn't been an intentional one, but after analyzing it, this make a lot of sense to me. He's been knocking on my heart, especially in this past week.
I know that I'm not myself without Jesus. I am not the Mary Kathryn he designed me to be. The Mary I know doesn't over indulge in food, refrains from swearing and other negative talk, is strong enough to turn away from temptation and sin, and makes a constant, daily effort to be in conversation with Jesus. God's been teaching me how to thirst for his heart and desire him again.
This especially hits me because I am no longer doing this just for my benefit. With Noah as my future husband, I am called to care for his soul as well. Jesus needs me to be strong in my faith to help guide him, and vice versa. My life is no longer about myself. I'm learning already how to do everything for Noah and I both with God leading the way.
So, I'm back. I'm ready to take on my new adulthood life with an intentional relationship with Jesus. My life is totally committed to Him and I am so blessed that God wants me too.
Praise be to God!
I still go to Mass every weekend, visit the sacraments regularly, pray every now and then, but these things haven't been as intentional as they were a year ago. I think the main reason for this is the distractions and great new life events going on. I never chose to not be intentional but I simply forgot HOW to be intentional.
Lately, I think God's been like "Hey Mary, it's me. God. Remember me? Remember how close we were? Wasn't that great? Wanna do that again?" As casual as that sounds, lately, I've really felt God push on my heart and show me how to desire his love again. The other day, I was contemplating back to the end of my summer in 2017 right when I left The Pines. I had just come off of a tough year but felt so rejuvenated and ready to take on my senior year of college. Right after beginning my final year at Viterbo, things already started to change in so many ways and time was rushing by.
For starters, I began getting into fitness and loving my body. I became a runner (WHAT?) and was super conscious on making healthy choices knowing that food was meant for fuel and not pleasure. I began to really kick my food addiction in the face and realize the benefits of living a healthy lifestyle. Sadly, as the year went on, this lifestyle slowly faded away and I forgot how to be the best version of myself. (Tbh it was definitely because God lead me through this lifestyle change and since I forgot how to talk to God, this was one of the outcomes of that)
During my time at Viterbo, I really struggled with friendships (or lack thereof) and building relationships with others. It was lonely, dark at times, and made me doubt everything. At the beginning of my senior semester, I met the most amazing man of my life. I truly believe God brought Noah and I together at the right time to help me feel important to someone and to be able to build His kingdom with someone at my side. Noah's and my relationship was an instant connection and grew rapidly. I couldn't believe that this man from all the way across the country could truly be the one God had possibly called me to marry. Noah became my biggest cheerleader, best friend, and love of my life. He helped me feel loved, accepted, and wanted. Noah is truly the biggest blessing in my life and I still can't believe that I'm his and he's mine.
During this entire process, finding a job after graduation weighed heavy on my heart, as it does for many college graduates. The process was long, tiring, incredibly stressful, and daunting. After applying for what seemed to be hundreds of jobs, I was exhausted and spent most of my waking hours applying, interviewing, and hoping someone would look at my resume. This process was probably my biggest stressor of the school year.
Finally, just three weeks after saying goodbye to Viterbo and La Crosse, my family and I said goodbye to my childhood home of 20 years in Owatonna, MN. Within 4 hours, our house was packed, moved, and emptied. Nothing is weirder than walking through your home completely emptied, stripped of everything. This process was more emotional than I thought and I didn't realize the impact Owatonna had on me after all of these years.
As you can see, there have been so many changes in my life this past year. All good and exciting, but definitely overwhelming! There is no excuse to why my relationship with Jesus hasn't been an intentional one, but after analyzing it, this make a lot of sense to me. He's been knocking on my heart, especially in this past week.
I know that I'm not myself without Jesus. I am not the Mary Kathryn he designed me to be. The Mary I know doesn't over indulge in food, refrains from swearing and other negative talk, is strong enough to turn away from temptation and sin, and makes a constant, daily effort to be in conversation with Jesus. God's been teaching me how to thirst for his heart and desire him again.
This especially hits me because I am no longer doing this just for my benefit. With Noah as my future husband, I am called to care for his soul as well. Jesus needs me to be strong in my faith to help guide him, and vice versa. My life is no longer about myself. I'm learning already how to do everything for Noah and I both with God leading the way.
So, I'm back. I'm ready to take on my new adulthood life with an intentional relationship with Jesus. My life is totally committed to Him and I am so blessed that God wants me too.
Praise be to God!
Comments
Post a Comment